I just hurt myself more by looking at pictures of Nufkin. I've been fine lately but I think that's because I've been denying it... I wake up and I still thought Nufkin was here, like when it's christmas and you run down to the christmas tree to see if santa brought you anything, or when your dad finally comes home in so many years. Well that's what I see in the movies and I can feel how they feel, it's the same. All of a sudden I'm remembering my dream again. Remember how I mentioned I had a dream of Nufkin being dead on my bedside? Well it turns out it did happen. She was just a baby... Our life was just beginning together. I kept thinking about the future together. I keep thinking she's still in her little cage room. I covered it though, I can't bring myself to look at it with Nufkin not in there. I miss it when she would get in her hind legs and look for me whenever she heard me and sensed me nearby. The times we had together were so happy and fun. Really joyful days and definitely kept me positive. I literally feel pain in my chest and it just really hurts. Everyone was like, "what can you do with a rabbit? All they do is sit there and eat carrots." Honestly I don't understand how they would think that if they never had one. Nufkin loved me, it's a bond you create over time. It's hard to describe but it feels wonderful. Though you're both very different beings, you also understand each other. Sometimes I think I'm going to die from losing someone so special to me in a matter of time and the pain in my chest keeps getting worse every time it comes back, it literally hurts and I feel like I can die from it. It may sound like exaggeration but these are just my thoughts and feelings. I miss Nufkin, though I know one day we'll be reunited again, with Sam. but for now I'm alone again and I have no one to come home to. I get so sad when I go up to my room and I don't hear that little bell of yours ringing, because you know I'm nearby and you're waiting to play with me and take you out, lay on the grass outside together and eat. I'm writing this now because I'm sad and I'm thinking of you. And it's not like I can go and buy another bunny, it's not like that! You can't just replace someone! It takes time, it's not easy, not for me. Why doesn't no one actually understand. I'm still a child, I may be getting older but I am still just a child in here with so much feelings, thoughts, and questions. Everyone else is so old and grown up, they just don't seem to understand these type of things anymore, or feel these things... I can't believe it... I lost my little best friend. My lovely little beautiful best friend. I wish you a great journey to your little heaven Nufkin because I'll see you again someday. It's so hard to let go of you for a while right now because you were the only one I had. I'll cry myself to sleep tonight. It's been a while. Days will be duller without you but I won't give up. I'll dedicate my art for my lovely bunnies who held my life together. They never let me feel unloved and lonely. They're the greatest friends I've ever had in my life so far and I'm so sorry but I'll do my best for the both of you. Wishing upon a star and hoping it's one of you. I miss you terribly. I'm sad without you. I wish I could be with you right now and we could both sleep next to each other and dream off to Neverland. Goodnight Nufkin and Sam. Goodnight to all the stars.