sometimes i get really sad because i remember that i'm going to die one day and i ask myself  "what's the point in all of this?" and try to find a meaning. we're all going to die. eventually. so, i don't get it. i just dread the day for it to happen. i hate it so much, it gives me so much pain in my chest. tears swell up and i just wish i was never born because i don't want to face that, ever. i feel so small, i feel pointless.  i feel like i'm only wasting time. i am, aren't i? i hate all of this. it's so depressing. you learn from your mistakes but you only get one chance. it's all so stupid. how can i learn after i only have one chance at everything? it's all so stupid! i can't stand life at times. it's so confusing. i remember when i was very young, i used to think i was the only "real" person, and everyone else was in my world, intruding in it. i really did think that. i thought they were all like decoys or something and i was the only one who could actually feel and think. i used to think i was so different from everyone else. that i was real and alive and everyone else was fake and dead. life sucks, no matter how much i think of it or how many different ways, it always has the same ending.