i fucking hate them, i hate them all. stupid useless people. WHY EVER ENTER MY FUCKING LIFE.
i hate them. fuck you, fuck you! if you don't need me then why the hell am i still here? why did i ever have to be born?! it must of been a mistake. i don't want to go through this. i fucking swear i hate you. i can't believe i'm crying. i kept thinking "they don't matter, they don't matter, they're not worth it" but i couldn't help myself, but it was too painful and real. why did you make me realize this. i just want to die but i keep thinking i won't be fulfilled and it'll be too late to turn back. i ache. i ache so much. why can't there ever be a person who won't ever leave me? why haven't i met that person? i want that person so bad. will there ever be someone to hold me back? and say not to go, to stay with them until the day we finally fully rot. tell me to not ever leave them and love them because they love me? don't go, don't you ever leave me. i haven't met that person yet. they all just come and go, i test and test but it never comes true. and i realize they weren't worth my time. they never were. none of them. they all just go. i want them to go, i can't stand them. i wish someone i was interested in, would want me back. i've been so into them for so many years. if it wasn't for them, i'd probably have already killed myself, seriously. i don't have a short attention span but sometimes i wish i did, if it was for the better. what you did is irreversible. and i will not forget or forgive you. don't come to me, do not come to me when there isn't no one for you. i will not accept that and i will not be there for you. once you done it, it won't be undone. you fucked it up for yourself. don't ever come back to me for anything, go the fuck away. worthless. i don't care if you're lonely, just don't come to me. you are nothing and no one to me now. all of them., you will never get me back. fuck off. i want someone to help me feel better. for once someone actually help me and tell me it'll be ok. i ache too. i want that person to understand me. once i'm broken, i can't be put back. i can't be put back like i used to be, you'll still be able to see all the cracks. i want someone to help me, i want to cry for help but no one will hear me. fuck. i want to tell everyone i hate them, i hate them. i want to blame them all for this, it's their fault. not mine. i'm tired of being accused all the time. someone tell me they want me to stay with them. not to ever let go. i tell others to go away, i tell them i don't need them but i really do. why can't they realize it? they're so stupid. i don't know why i say such things. i tell to go away from me. how will i ever meet that person? i'm only with you because i don't want you to be with him. because the truth is i want him, and i don't want anyone else to have him. why won't you love me back? have you forgotten me? i don't think i'll ever lose interest in you. you keep me going. but now i'm confused. i hate everything. why can't i just live a normal life? why won't anyone treat me normally? where are you? i'm waiting for you. i'm rotting each day and i don't want to die yet, not without meeting you. i want you to find me soon. i don't want to feel like this anymore. this was all useless. i don't know what i'm doing anymore. just leave me alone already. don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't touch me. i don't want you in my life. you're useless, go the hell away. i need someone who won't let me go, i don't need you.
i'm so fucked up, so who would need me? no one. exactly.