it seems like nothing should be surprising to me anymore. i can't even cry like i'm truly sad. because i already experienced the saddest of them all so far. i miss sam so much. whenever i think of sam i can truly cry and feel the sad pain. sam was the only one there for me so why did sam leave me. i'm so sad without sam, so lonely. please come back with me. love me. i'm weaker than ever. but still, why are people so disgusting? why do they do this to me. is there something wrong with me. why does it have to my fault and not theirs? why can't they blame themselves instead of blaming others and taking it out on them. i don't need this hatred from them. i don't even care about them. so leave me alone already. what did i ever do to you. i don't get what i do wrong. do i even do anything wrong?